


struggling

by meshtams



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Autistic Morty Smith, Depression, Drugs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Queer Themes, References to Drugs, Self-Harm, autistic Rick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 08:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20739464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meshtams/pseuds/meshtams
Summary: Morty self harms, Rick finds out, everyone is gay





	struggling

**Author's Note:**

> I'm rlly sorry to anyone who read this before I went back over and added in capital letters. I keep my phone on lowercase and only write on my phone because my laptop is a hunk of junk. anyway, enjoy!

Morty was struggling. He could go into it, into the way he was struggling with accepting his sexuality, even though his sister had come out as a lesbian the year before, or the way he was failing all of his exams and knew he would be held back in school. But going too deeply hurt too much, so he found himself using the same coping mechanism he always used. He cut a little deeper than usual.

He cut most days, had done since he was 14, and after 3 years it had become an addiction, but sometimes, when he was really struggling, his usual surface cuts deepened into gashes in which he could see his own fat, and which left wide white scars. His box cutter was kept in his bedside drawer, along with a bottle of anxiety pills he had stolen from his mother, and as he lifted it out he could feel that tonight was going to be bad.

He pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie and brought the blade down to his already scarred forearm. The inside and outside of his arm were both riddled with white lines and red cuts, the most prominent of which were from where he had accidentally cut too deep and sewn it up himself using dental floss and a sewing needle. A small part of himself worried that tonight he would have to do it again, but most of his brain was too entranced by the beads of blood welling up where he pressed the box cutter. Before long his gentle presses moved into harsh slashes with far too much pressure behind them. Blood was practically gushing from his arm now, and he felt light-headed as his own blood stained his bedsheets crimson.

Morty couldn't see any bulging from his wounds, so instead of tending to them he just pulled down his sleeve and switched out his box cutter for the pill bottle. He shook a few pills into his palm and swallowed them dry, the bitter taste clinging to his tongue as his mind fogged over and he fell into sleep. 

Morty awoke to find rick shaking him by the shoulders. His eyes barely opened, the strong medication clearly still working, especially paired with the blood loss.  
"R-Rick? What d'ya want?" His voice was heavy and slurred.  
"Morty! You gotta- you gotta get up, Morty! There's a Gl-Glaxian in the Parletariac quadrant with a- a mind reading crystal, and if we go get it it'll- it'll be super cool, but we gotta go now, get up!" Rick pulled Morty's shoulder harder and the thin boy was tugged off of his bed, revealing the crimson stain on his sheets.  
Ricks eyes were practically glued to the stain. "M-Morty, what..?" The old man looked more sober than Morty had ever seen him.  
"J-just a nosebleed, grandpa Rick. I'll clean it up when we get back. lets g-go."  
"Morty, that's too much blood for just a n-nosebleed. What really happened?" Rick's face showed true concern for his grandson, but Morty just brushed him off.  
"Nothing, Rick. It doesnt- doesn't matter. Lets go." His brain still foggy, he reached automatically to tug down his left sleeve. Rick noticed this movement and grabbed his grandsons hand, the motion much swifter than would be expected for an old drunk like him. Morty snatched his arm back as quickly as possible.  
"M-Morty. let me see your arm."  
"N-no. Why? Its fine"  
"I just want to check it. If its fine then wh-why not show me?"  
"F-fuck off Rick" Morty turned to walk away from Rick, but his grandfather quickly grabbed Morty's hand and pushed up the sleeve before his drug-and-bloodloss addled brain could register what was happening. As the thick grey jersey pulled, the scabbing which had fused itself into the fabric pulled and blood started gushing from the wounds again. The mass of gore on his arm mixed with the overwhelmed feeling which was coming from the knowledge that his secret was out caused Morty to pass out.  
When he came around again, he was laid on the workbench in Rick's garage, the older man suturing the cuts on the youngers arm. As he finished up, he looked over to see that Morty was awake. He quickly applied an antiseptic serum to the wounds and covered them, before pulling his grandson into a tight hug. Morty was confused; he had been expecting a berating and to be called names, not this. he tensed, then registered the shaking sobs wracking his grandpas frail body.  
"R-Rick?"  
"Morty. I'm sorry, Morty. I'm so sorry. I love you, Morty. I'm so sorry."  
"W-why are you... why are you sorry?" The small boy was absolutely baffled. As his grandpa pulled back, he noticed he wasn't wearing his usual lab coat. The older mans eyes were red and bloodshot, tear tracks dried on his cheeks, and he pushed up the sleeves of his blue t-shirt to reveal a mass of white scars, much like mortys own, and even a few puckering pink marks.  
"I should- I should have noticed, Morty. I'm so sorry"  
"I- I didn't want anyone to know Rick. I'm sorry"  
"No! Morty, no, don't you be sorry. You have no need to be sorry. I wish you could have come to me, i wish i had been able to tell, i know the signs, Morty, I'm so sorry."  
Morty hopped off of the work bench to wrap his arms around his grandpa.  
"It's ok, grandpa Rick." The old man clung to his grandson like he was a life raft.  
"I love you, M-Morty. I know I don't tell you that enough, but I do."  
"I- I love you too, Rick"  
"And you know you can tell me anything, right Morty? I know i haven't always been the best grandpa to you, but I'll do better. I'll do better for you."  
"Uh. Thanks grandpa Rick." Rick nodded and stood back, turning around.  
"How's about we watch some interdimentional cable?" He said, already walking towards the door.  
"Ok. Actu-actually, grandpa Rick? Can i tell you something first??" Morty was nervous, and he scratched at the skin of his thumb, a form of stimming he always reverted to when his nerves got the better of him.  
"Of-of course Morty. What's up?" Morty's face twitched slighly.  
"I- I- I-" He gulped. This was the first time he was ever going to say this out loud, and it was getting stuck in his throat. "Imgay" the confession was rushed and awkward. For a moment Rick didn't respond, then he burst out into laughter. "W-whats so funny, Rick?" Morty was defensive.  
"Its just- you know that means not a single member of this family is straight, right?" Rick was laughing hard now, his eyes again watering but this time from laughter.  
"Wait- r-really?"  
"Yep!" Rick sniggered. "Now lets go watch some interdimentional cable. I think ball fondlers should be on soon!

**Author's Note:**

> ok so I headcannon that:  
Morty is gay  
Rick is pan  
summer is a lesbian (and dating Jessica oop)  
Jerry is bi (duh)  
and Beth is asexual (but not sex repulsed) and biromantic. 
> 
> also autistic morty is my life because I like projecting onto characters ok LET ME LIVE


End file.
